Sadness, Loneliness, Emptiness
by BarbaraB
Summary: Ro/Lo Ororo and Logan talk. Remy comforts Ororo.


Title: **Sadness, Loneliness, Emptiness**

Author: BarbaraB

Email: broadnaxb@wit.edu

Archiving: Sure, just let me know where its going.

Notes: Came to me a few days ago. This is unbetad for now. If anyone has a better title let me know. Please review.

Pairing: Ro/Lo Ororo/Remy friendship 

He came up quietly behind her as she stood pensively staring out of the loft window that overlooked the back of the estate. Even though he was silent coming in she absently registered his entrance. He put his arms around her, placing his hands flat over her pelvis. She instinctively covered his hands with her own as he hooked his thumbs in the waist band of her jeans. He closed his eyes biting sucking and kissing her neck just under her chin. 

He could smell the sadness, and anxiousness on her among other things, but he wasn't going to ask about it. He didn't feel like talking about feelings right now. If she wanted to talk about it he'd let her bring it up. 

Ororo's expression did not turn appreciative when Logan eased her zipper down, and unbuttoned her jeans. His kisses swirled around to the back of her neck, as she hung her head despondently. She could feel the rain building up inside of her, and outside of the window. She forced them both back. She was the master of her emotions, and the mistress of the sky.

Logan turned her around to face him. He lifted his hand to her chin to bring her lips up to his. They only had a short kiss before Ororo pulled away. He knew something was eating at her, but he resisted his conscience and ignored her mood. He began walking her over to the bed several feet away, kissing her neck and shoulders, his hands holding her wrists. 

She started to swallow the feelings, and forget the thoughts she had been meditating on since the last time they had done this. 

_ No_. She told herself. Willing her body not to respond to his kisses she resisted him stopping her legs from moving any nearer to the bed, and pulled away from him. He used his hold on her wrists to stretch their arms out and bring her back in to him. He was still trying to push her toward the bed. His eyes were closed as if he was trying to keep her defiance from bringing him out of his trance. 

"Logan." Ororo said uncertainly. He groaned gutturally in response letting her arms go, and falling down to his knees grabbing her strongly around the waist. He kissed her belly just above her bikini line.  

_ Goddess, give me strength,_ "Lo-Wolverine." She said more steadily. She placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Not now Ro-" kiss, "-don't talk-" kiss, "-We can-" He bit her tenderly, "-after-"

Her head tilted back some as she focused her eyes on a spot high on the wall. "No. We must talk now." She gently but firmly pushed him away. 

Logan let out a loud nasal sigh, opening his eyes, and clenching his jaw. He released her from his grip, and rolled back into a sitting position, his feet flat on the floor knees in the air. He rested his elbows on his knees, and linked his fingers. "Talk,"

Ororo felt her heart breaking for the billionth time. She stared down at him for a long time before finally sitting lotus style across from him. His half-lidded eyes roamed her body as she got comfortable. He looked away when she tried to make eye-contact. 

"Logan, I-," She felt the lump rise in her throat, "I can't go on like this."

"Like what?" 

"This Logan, you coming to me after a day of Jean worship, and pretending I'm her while we make love."

Logan met her eyes, "I don't-,"

"You do not have to lie to me Logan. I know the truth. I have always known. In the beginning I thought it would change, that you would learn to love me the way I have loved you for so long." Ororo blinked back tears. "When you come to me, I always think that maybe this time you will stay, but you always leave me overwhelmed with emptiness. When you and I are in a room together, and Jean comes in you forget I am even in the room. You only use me as a substitute for her." 

It _ was_ true, and he was somewhat remorseful for putting that pain in her eyes, but he loved Jean and there wasn't any room in his heart to love anyone else. He was obsessed with her, and it was true he did pretend Ororo was Jean. If she was going to ask him to forget about Jean she could forget that. He didn't want to stop the regular sex sessions, but he didn't even want to stop thinking about Jean. He loved the bones she through him once in a while, and he loved thinking that if ever something happened with her and Scott he would be the first she'd come to. He wouldn't miss that opportunity for the world.

"I used to think that the moments you showed me affection were worth the emptiness, the sadness, and the loneliness after." She shook her head. "Remy has helped-"

"So that's where all this is coming from?" Logan asked, the irritation in his voice strong, "Look, everything was fine before the Cajun started running his mouth."

"Are you not listening? Everything was not fine! It was not!" She seemed to be begging him to understand. "Remy is my friend. He has helped me see our situation for what it really is. Jean is my friend too. I don't want this to ruin another friendship. I think we can safely say that our friendship after this-"

Logan shook his head doubtfully, "Ro, you don't wanna end this."

"I do Logan. Some people are not satisfied chasing the one who will never love them back."

That stung, "So what do you want from me."

Contempt replaced the hurt on her face, "Nothing. I don't want anything from you Logan. It's over. I'd rather be lonely, than be a fool any longer." 

He leaned forward bringing his mouth to hers. Her eyes closed. Tears gathered in the cracks of her eyes wetting her eyelashes. He crawled forward trying to push her down to the floor. She wouldn't budge.

"One more time, Ro." He whispered against her lips.

"No, Logan. It must end now. I can't go through the pain again."

"Please, we can do it the way you like." He fisted the place on her jeans where the zipper met her jeans, his knuckle rubbing against her. 

He was like the devil. Saying and doing all the right things to tempt her.

She stood. "Don't make this any harder, Wolverine." She used his codename for emphasis. "Please leave."

Logan got to his feet too. His expression turned cold, and he left not wasting time with words. The only thing on his mind now was whether he was going to pick up a whore, or go for a session in the danger room.

Ororo held herself together, keeping herself from sinking to the ground in a heap she calmly exited the attic less than a minute after Logan. He was thankfully nowhere in sight. She didn't allow herself to think as she descended the hallway toward the last door on the men's side of the dormitory. The broken goddess knocked twice on the door. She heard the sound of a chair on moving on wood floor, and light footsteps crossing the room. Remy opened the door and took Ororo into his arms.

"I did it Remy." She said into his chest.

Remy thought for a moment, "The good did it or the bad did it."

"The good. I ended it."

He kissed the top of her head, "I'm proud of you padnat." He pulled her into the room. "You did the right thing."

"It does not feel good at the moment." 

"I know, Stormy, but if you didn't do it. I would have, and I'm sure your version was a lot better for you two. I could not stand seeing my padnat so depressed over that asshole."

"I love him, Remy."

"Wolverine is not good enough for you. He is stupid. You should get some sleep, petite. You will feel better in the morning."

"Morning." She said with disgust. "I dread it. This shall be the latest mansion gossip. I'm sure of it. I do not wish to talk to any of them about Logan and I." 

"I think they will all be proud of you Stormy. Everyone could see how he hurt you. Dey'll support you."

It was a surprise to hear her dear friend defend the integrity of the X-Men, but she knew he was right. She sighed, "Still-,"

"If you don't want to face them, petite, I will be happy to bring your breakfast to you."

Ororo smiled. She loved Logan, but her love for Remy far exceeded that. She loved him more than a brother, and she knew he would never intentionally hurt her.

Flopping down on Remy's King sized she noted a half finished game of solitaire on the desk. 

"Were you worrying about me?" She asked Remy who pulled up the desk chair in front of her and straddled it backward. 

"No. I knew you were strong enough. I just wanted to be available if you come knockin'," Ororo nodded, "You want to talk about it, petite?"

Ororo laid out the events for Remy as if she was telling him about someone else's life, speaking in monotone, and showing no emotion. When she finished Remy sat quiet for a long time. His silence left Ororo time to think, and she felt the stinging tears come to her eyes again. This time she couldn't blink them away, and she gave in without a fight. Remy was beside her in a flash wrapping his arms around her. She buried her nose in his chest, and her tears wet his sleeveless t-shirt. He rested his chin on her head. "I don't want to be alone, Remy." She whispered. 

"Oh, Stormy." Remy began. It was quite unlike her to disclose the feelings at her core, but this was not the first time Remy had gotten a glimpse of the woman inside of the thick goddess shell. It broke his heart seeing his best friend in such misery. He wished there was something he could do to take it all away. "You got me, padnat. I'll never make you cry."

Ororo continued to sob quietly into Remy's chest, and he held her tightly stroking her hair, and whispering his dedication to her. 

_ End_

So what did you think? I may add some more to the end later. Please review.


End file.
